Parenting brings along many new adventures – some more challenging than others. Sometimes we get so caught up in the day to day struggles that it may be difficult to find new ways of helping your children become the people you hoped and dreamed they would be. It becomes even more difficult when you experience your child / children being difficult, disobedient and defiant. The frustration this creates in you, the parent, can create a huge obstacle in your efforts to connect with and help your children cooperate peacefully with you.
Psychotherapy can help parents understand their own frustrations in an effort to help understand what is happening at home with their children, to help them see where the difficulties arise and how best to create a more peaceful and cooperative environment.
Some strategies that I might suggest you use initially, would include:
- Before responding to your child, stop and assess how you are feeling. If you are feeling calm, go ahead and deal with your child. If you are feeling wound up, frustrated, or angry, take a moment to acknowledge that feeling and wait until you know you can handle the situation calmly (providing your child is in a safe environment!)
- Try getting down to your child's level and connecting with them where ever they are at. Be curious about what they are experiencing or doing.
- Often times, children don't yet have the words to express how they are feeling and they can act them out using behaviors which may be upsetting to their parents. Remember, they are using those actions to try and tell you how they are feeling.